Dreaming of Christmas past...

About this time last year:

Family friend: What did you tell Santa you wanted for Christmas?

Ape #2: An anaconda.

FF: What are you going to do with an anaconda?

Ape #2: It will protect me from an alligator.

FF: Dude, you live in Idaho. There are no alligators.

Ape #2: Well, then he won't have to work too hard.

FF: (turning to Ape #1) What about you? What did you ask for?

Ape #1: A different brother.

Ambition

Ape #2: I was thinking, I wanna wrestle.

Me: What kind of wrestling?

Ape #2: Blood wrestling.

Me: Huh?

Ape #2: Yeah, I saw this guy whose head was covered in blood. It looked cool.

Me: That sounds like fun to you?

Ape #2: Yep.

Clean-up

Me: Hey. I love you (said while tickling the armpit of the youngest ape).

Ape #2: Love you, too (said while tickling MY armpit).

Ape #1: Ooh, Mom, I love you too (said while aggressively tickling my armpit).

Me: Hey. Children. This is a grocery store. A no-tickling zone (said while tickling Ape #1).

(more tickling ensues while en route to the bulk foods aisle)

Me: Here. Hold this like a baby, your little sugar baby (handing Ape #2 a bag of sugar). And, this is your flour baby (given to Ape #1).

Ape #1: Mom, half the sugar baby is on the floor.

Ape #2: Sugar baby can't stand on his head.

Me: Clean-up in aisle bulk.